


Dude Don't Look Like A Lady

by kaitlia777



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 15:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14673936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitlia777/pseuds/kaitlia777
Summary: written for cedara who wanted Hawaii Five-0, Steve/Danny, Steve has to dress as a woman for an undercover op





	Dude Don't Look Like A Lady

Danny knew he'd pay dearly for it later, but in the moment Steve walked out of the locker room dressed for the undercover op, no force on Earth could have kept the hysterical laughter inside his body. He tried, he really did, but only ended up half bent over, choking out sounds that were half laugh, half wheezing gasp.

His reaction only served to increase the disgruntled pout that Steve was rocking and that was actually the thing Danny was most laughing at. Kono, whom had been responsible for assembling Steve's current look was valiantly biting back her own giggles and Chin was attempting to look above the behavior of his team, but Danny saw the amused tremors in the man's shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah," Steve muttered sourly, "Laugh it up."

Rallying, Danny managed to speak. "No offense to the many folks who work that look, but you, Babe, are not one of them!"

It was true. The 6+ feet of muscular SEAL standing before Danny was not made to wear a red halter dress and back stilettos (though those did make Steve's already freakishly long legs look good). Seeing the smooth skin made Danny wince in sympathy, glad he hadn't fit the victim profile. He was a lot fuzzier than Steve, even before this follicular massacre.

The ink on his arms was visible and the long, chocolaty tresses of the wig curled against the bigger man's shoulders. Kono had done a nice job on the makeup, softening the planes and angles of Steve's face and accentuating his eyes and lips.

He actually looked better than Danny had thought he would, but still…so very much not Steve. And he looked so amusingly pissed off. Probably because Kono hadn't let him wear cargo pants. Seriously, other than his dress uniform and swim trunks, Danny didn't think the man owned any other trousers.

Steve was probably suffering cargo pant related withdrawal. Hopefully, the shakes would hold off until this op was over.

"Geographic profiling suggests this is the most likely spot for the Killer to strike," Chin said, indicating a spot on the map. "Kono and I will be doing surveillance outside, the owner has Danny in as a bartender and you'll be…playing your part."

Of course 5-0 got called in to handle a serial killer. One who happened to be killing tall, attractive, transvestite members of the community. It was decided that a undercover op was necessary and Steve was the only one who really fit the criteria.

Thus…Steve's current sartorial situation.

"All right, lets roll," Steve said decisively, then scowled at the little beaded purse Kono handed him. "How the hell did my gun even fit in there?"

"I got a smaller model from the armory," Kono muttered, then flew out of the room far faster than Steve could follow in his heels.

Steve glared at her wake, then transferred his gaze to Danny, who smiled and said, "After you."

The look Steve shot him promised retribution, but at the moment, Danny couldn't care less. Following his partner out of the room, he found himself almost hoping they'd have to chase the suspect, cause seeing Steve kick down a door in those heels would be the best thing ever.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're so inclined, feel free to come say hi over at my tumblr [HERE](http://blaineandsamevanderson.tumblr.com/) . Always nice to make fandom and shipping friends!


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